Candy Crush Helped Me Pass Algebra and Curbed Anxiety


Like so many others, I have fallen prey to the addictive game of Candy Crush!    What a time burner!!  Yet, I still find myself playing just to see if I can escape the growing chocolate, or move on to another exciting level.  This game has taken me as its hostage!  I find myself asking hubs to drive when we go out just so I can play in the car.  I have been known to spend an enormous amount of time in the bathroom (not relieving myself), but trying to find some solace while attempting to pass the next level or until I run out of lives.

I realized my Candy Crush addiction was out of control when I began to hiding my iPhone as someone came into the room; similar to a cheating spouse who has been text messaging on the sly.   I have even turned the obnoxious yet tantalizing jingle of crushing, smashing and “Divine or Sweet” responses off so that my family and friends have no idea that I’ve been conquered once again.

Now I am sure you are all wondering how this effortless yet addictive pastime could have possibly helped my anxiety (and pass my Algebra class), because I am sure that Candy Crush has created anxiety in many.

Attending college at 40-something years old is enough anxiety in and of itself,  but throw some algebra into the equation (pun intended) and it can become the perfect storm.  Algebra made me frustrated, sad, pissed off, panicky, anxious, racing heart, and any other adjective that might be fitting for the occasion.  Instead of hiring a tutor reaching for the vodka, I downloaded Candy Crush.  In all honesty, when I would feel frustrated, I began playing this game.  The excitement from matching up blue, red, yellow, green, and purple candies calmed me down for a hour or so little while and I was able to concentrate.  I am not trying to be funny here, this really really helped me.  Candy Crush allowed my brain to simmer down to re-focus on the task at hand.  As a result, not only did I calm the mechanism but my anxiety as well.  (I got a 4.0 in Algebra by the way)

I have not been playing as frequently (okay, maybe a little white lie) since I am currently on break but if the second half of algebra creates another bout of anxiety, I will once again be reaching for the gaming version of Xanax.


How Do You Show Your True Colors?


If you didn’t care what anyone thought about you, what would you do?  How would YOU dress?

I saw this dog in a stroller all dolled up last weekend at the farmers market.  I asked her owner if I could snap a photo.   Of course she said yes!  All I could think was, WOW!  I love how dogs are just who they are, not a care in the world and love us no matter how we dress them up.  This little cutie sat in her stroller with sunglasses on and wagged her tail at everyone who passed her by.  She truly stole the show.  I became so engrossed in watching them that I actually forgot to buy my produce.

If we all gave up our inhibitions about what everyone thinks of us and truly let our colors show, there would probably not be a need for anti-depressants.  Just sayin’…..

Death Doesn’t Always Breed Bitterness (My New Journey)




It has been almost two years since my son died and I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my purpose and where my life should be headed.  It seems to me that life changing events force us to re-evaluate our lives.  The time I spent reflecting was almost depressing, as I realized that I wanted to do something different with my life and I couldn’t figure it out.  Then I’d get upset when no one else could tell me either.  Who was I kidding?  No one is going to tell me what direction to take in my personal life.  (well… except maybe my mother in law, but I didn’t ask her advice)

It finally hit me one night in Alanon as I was having a conversation with another parent whose son is headed in the same direction mine was.  The addiction monster had taken hold of this lady’s precious son, just like he did mine.  We talked for a long time, and then it hit me!!  I must go back to school……..

I cannot believe it!  school?  I am 42 years old!  Well that is what I am doing, I have been back in college since the  beginning of this year.  I have chosen social work as my degree with a concentration in chemical dependency.

Although my son took his life, in return I received a gift.  I have found my purpose; give unto others and hopefully save someone’s child in the process.  My son was a beautiful gift from above and I treasure every moment I had with him; his eternal gift will be the families I assist.

I could choose to be bitter about my situation but instead I have tried to reinforce with something positive.  Pretty deep huh?





Photo credit: paul bica / Foter / CC BY

What is F-E-A-R ?


I once heard that fear is:





Very true, but I think we all have a fear of something.  Many refuse to communicate their fears for ‘fear’ of appearing weak.  I chose this post today because I found the topic on a creative writing prompt website.  So I’ve decided to come clean and list my top fears, some serious and others not so much.

1.  Cancer

2.  Mice

3.  Cockroaches

4.  Lack of water (drought)

5.  bumps in the night

6.  IRS

7.  Drunk Drivers

8.  Mexico

9.  Stomach flu (weird… but I’d rather have diarrhea than throw up)

10.  Farting in public  (not being gross but it happens to the best of us)

11.  Personal trainers (they are brutal)

12.  Dancing (Always afraid I will look like an assholio with my rear end jiggling.  Seriously cannot believe I even typed that, I’ve always  been one to not give a rats ass what anyone thinks about me.)

13.  Finding my name in the obituary section of newspaper

14.  Heights (this really should be at the top of the list – I could do an entire post on my fear of heights altogether.)

15.  No longer appearing attractive to my husband

Well, I almost did it!  The prompt indicated to list my top 20 fears and I made it to 15.  Not too bad.  What are YOUR biggest fears?




Photo credit: *Zephyrance – don’t wake me up. / / CC BY-ND

It’s Great To Know I’ve Been Missed


Life sure does have some ups and downs; just make a plan and God will see to it that the plan had better be HIS plan.   I spent six months living in small town USA which I thought was great for the family, turns out that wasn’t supposed to be MY plan.   I really enjoyed my short time living in small town USA.  I met some great friends, the school was nothing short of amazing and Master D was thriving.  But… all good things must come to an end.  We are back and I am actually happy to be back.

In my absence from my hometown I also managed to be absent from this blog.  I am still not sure why I chose not to blog about my adventures.  However; I have received numerous emails and messages from ya’ll (my readers).  I really had no idea that I had touched so many lives by just writing about my own.  It is a great feeling to know that my personal struggles have touched so many of you and that we are all in this together.

I have begun a new journey in my life, one that I feel will help to heal my soul.  I am excited to share but not just yet.  That post is in the works.  In the meantime…. thank you again for reaching out to me during my absence.  (thinking my neon picket fence may soon be hot pink)

Is It That Hard To Say I Love You?



 Those are words that are spoken numerous times each and everyday.  Sometimes they are very difficult words to say and sometimes I feel they are misused and/or abused.

My son has a very hard time with these words, always has.  It is hurtful that he only tells us he loves on holidays,  however he shows his love in other ways.  Hugs for no reason and clinging to the hug for an incredibly looooooong time are ways he shows his love;  and I suppose we have just learned that this is the way he is.  I hope he overcomes this before falling in love with Mrs. Right.

Tonight he is mad at me because I held his iPad cable hostage for a simple, “I love you” statement.  He refused to say it,  telling me it is not my birthday or Christmas.  Really?  Well, I guess you don’t want your cable back then?  (of course this was in a joking manner)  We began running through the house wrestling, laughing, and carrying on.  I suppose the fun went too far, the hormones kicked in (he’s almost 14) because all of a sudden he got very quiet and calmly said, “Give it back to me”.  Well by this time I had managed to shove it in the couch during our wrestling match.  When he didn’t see it in my hand, along came the temper tantrum.

Holy Mother Of Pearl!!!!  Seriously?   I would have accepted it in a text message…….