As I witness my 17 year old son growing up at an alarming rate, I realize that everything I’ve been told has come true.
He DOES know everything, or so he thinks!
This spit-fire ball of energy is going to save his money, buy a travel trailer, move to Hawaii, and live the good life. He has already called to inquire how much it will cost to ship his truck over the open waters. He did not balk at the $800 price tag but today called to inform me that his new employer deducted $47 from his paycheck for taxes.
“How unfair mom” was his response, to which I replied, “Oh honey, I know – it is tough being a grown up and by the way, make sure to use condoms too or you will really know what it is like to not have any money ”.
This little exchange made me think of all the things that I THOUGHT I knew at his age but when I reflect, I realize that I was just like him. If I could have a chat with my 17 year old self, here is a list of what I would say:
- He is not the one! He will break your heart into a million pieces and leave you as a single parent.
- In fact, dump him now and go out with as many guys as possible and have a great time while you still can.
- You will kiss a lot of frogs before your prince comes along.
- Sex doesn’t feel good with a condom, but use one anyway.
- Your grades DO matter!
- Don’t wait to go to college, it is much more difficult when you are 40-something years old.
- Those bitches don’t really give a rat’s ass about you.
- Exercise regularly now and never stop no matter what.
- You will not make $100,000 a year right after high school
- You will not even be able to afford a new car for 6 more years so take care of that piece of crap dad got ya. (It really wasn’t a piece of crap, but I sure thought so at the time)
- Get breast implants before that new car. Boobs are to be flaunted in your youth and cars until the day you die.
- It is okay to fail as long as you learn from it.
- Sing in the rain!
- Dance in the rain!
- Catch raindrops on your tongue
- These really are the good ole days!
I’m sure I will think of more once I hit the publish button.
XOXO & E-hugs!